Our hearts are made to love. Love is our soul’s assignment. There are so many opportunities to experience and express love each day with family, dear friends, and even in kindness shown toward a stranger. And although we may feel perfectly complete and whole in who we are, for many of us, the love of and for an intimate partner is where we find love’s most complete expression.
If you are looking to attract the love of your life this year, here are some tips you might find useful…
Describe exactly what you want in a perfect partner. As I have the opportunity to work with people around dream building, the most common question I get is whether or not to be specific with our desires. In short the answer is, be specific. When we get definite with the Universe, the Universe gets definite with us. When we are clear about what we want, we are much more likely to attract exactly that kind of person. Being clear also helps us in the discernment process. If it is important that your partner shares your love of rock climbing, and you meet someone who’s idea of an outdoor vacation is the balcony at the Marriott, then you move on. So the first step is to describe in colorful, juicy, delicious detail your amazing perfect partner and your wonderful life together. And don’t just think it, ink it. Write it down. Studies show that we are 10 times more likely to create the life we want if we write it down and read it or write it every day.
Become the person who is already in that relationship. Get your groove on. Walk out the door in the morning as the person who is already in that relationship. How do you feel? What kinds of conversations do you have? How do you walk down the street? What do you wear? What do you have for dinner? How does your car look? After my best friend in college became engaged, she was in a grocery store and a complete stranger looked at her and said, “You look like you’re in love.” When you become that person, you begin to broadcast the life you are imagining and you become like a magnet drawing to you to everything that matches the energy you are projecting.
Prepare your home. I like to leverage the power of Feng Shui when attracting something to my life. There is more than one approach to Feng Shui, but the approach I use is that of the Bagua map which aligns certain areas of your home to specific areas of your life. Suffice it to say that, as you enter your home, the far back right corner of your space is your love and relationship center. Use this space as a way to remind yourself of the love you are calling into your life. Enhance this area with red, or white or pink objects. Flowers are perfect in this area. Perhaps add an empty picture frame that is waiting for a photo of your perfect partner. Place your favorite romantic greeting card there. Also, pairs of objects like candles or Champagne glasses can help enhance this area. Remove anything that is dead or dying or old and stagnate. Then examine the other areas of your home. Is there room for someone else? Is there room in the closet for their clothes? Is there room in the bed for another person? Is there room in the garage for another car? Is your home inviting and aligned with the kind of person you want to attract? If not, do a make over and make space for them. I know a story about a woman who did this and within three months she met the man of her dreams and within six months they were married. Don’t underestimate the power of preparing your space for the one you love.
Prepare your heart. Preparing our hearts for love, ultimately begins with loving ourselves. I know, I know… heard that all before. But chances are, if the love you’ve wanted has eluded you, there is some work to do in the self-love department. In 2007, after being in a non-stop series of relationships since I was 25, I decided to enter into a yearlong experiment of being consciously single. My intention was to spend a year falling in love with myself. I bought myself flowers each week, made myself romantic dinners, and took myself on romantic outings. Wow, what a transformational year. In fact, I loved the results so much, that I decided to do it for another year. Wow again. Some key things happened for me in those two years. The first is that I did fall in love with myself, truly and profoundly. I realized that I am enough and my heart was full and grateful. Second, my connection with Spirit deepened in a rich and magnificent way. I realized that Spirit is the source of my love, both to give and to receive. Finally, I became much clearer about the kind of person I want to be with and it was very different than anyone I had been with before. In fact, when I wrote a description of my perfect partner, I actually surprised myself. Who wrote that? It was a reflection of how significantly I had changed. I don’t have the fairly tale ending to the story where, at the end of those two years, I met the love of my life. But what I can say is that I’m confident my perfect partner awaits and I am relaxed and at peace about that. In the meantime, I am happy and content with my very full and rich life. Perhaps most significant however, is that when I have dated and it hasn’t worked out, although I may have felt sad, my heart wasn’t broken, because the rich, deep love I cultivated for myself was still in tact. And that right there makes all the difference in the world.
So as we celebrate love this month, start with yourself. Treat yourself special. Buy yourself some flowers and perhaps make a list of all the things you love about yourself. Give yourself a valentine first and foremost. And then go ahead… Get your groove on. Walk down the street as a person in love. Prepare your home for love. Be courageous and write that description of your perfect partner… and know that the Universe delights in saying YES!